What Is One Question You Hate to Be Asked?

One of the most frustrating questions I encounter in daily life is “How are you?” Not because it’s inherently offensive or intrusive, but because it has become an empty formality rather than a genuine inquiry into someone’s well-being.

In English-speaking cultures, when someone asks, “How are you?”, the expected response is almost always a variation of “I’m fine, thanks,” or “Good, and you?” even if the person is struggling, stressed, or going through a difficult time. It’s a social script, a reflex rather than a meaningful conversation starter. The problem arises when you actually try to answer honestly. Imagine responding with, “Actually, I’m really overwhelmed right now,” or “Not great, to be honest.” Most people wouldn’t know how to handle that response. There would be an awkward pause, a forced smile, or a quick change of subject.

This contradiction exposes a deeper issue: we ask the question, but we don’t really want the answer. It’s a courtesy rather than a concern. If the purpose is merely to be polite, then why phrase it as a question at all? Why not just say, “Good to see you,” and move on? If we truly care, we should be prepared for an honest response, no matter how uncomfortable it might be.

Ultimately, this small, everyday exchange highlights a broader social tendency to prioritize politeness over authenticity. It’s a reminder that sometimes, the questions we ask aren’t really meant to be answered.

Lajos